I think that I’m mentally retarded. I can never focus on doing anything, my mind always wanders with random thoughts, I have very blurry vision, and a lot of people easily take advantage of me. It feels like it takes me twice as long to learn and do things that other people pick up a lot quicker. I’m 22 yrs. old and had 6 jobs since high school. I went to college and quit after 2 semesters. I started going to parties and dating when I was 21 because during my high school years I had acne which was a self esteem killer. so basically throughout high school I was a loner and didn’t talk to anyone. Every time I’m around people I’m always quiet and never know what to say and when I do say something it often ends up being weird. People always try not to offend me so much because they think I’m too sensitive. My face easily turns red with teary eyes and I make this weird puppy face when someone jokes around or says something slightly offensive. It’s like I can’t control my facial muscles and when this happens people are usually like *aw… leave him alone* and it makes me feel like I’m pittyed. I can never argue back or stand up for myself because I end up saying something stupid that makes me look dumb and the puppy face shows up where I can’t hide it. I’m VERY bad at making decisions and I’m always in a rush with everything. I can never stay still and get bored with everything I do. I have a very low self esteem and a lot of emotional problems where I feel like I’m too stupid to be around people. It’s like I’m always feeling depressed and I always look for other people’s comfort. All the girls I dated, the relationships wouldn’t last long because the girls would often gain control in the end and I do whatever they tell me to do. I’m lazy and have the worse confidence.. My older sister says I’m the clumziest person she knows. I act like a little kid sometimes and my head just feels like there’s space in it.. I’m mean to nerdy people and suck up to individuals I feel are normal. I connect better with kids who are 15 years old and feel like they’re even smarter then me… I barely have any friends because I don’t have social skills to do so and easily scare people out of friendship. I still live in my mother’s basement alone and depressed all the time feeling stupid. I worry CONStantly about Everything and get really paranoid and scared for no reason. I usually feel like I’m not even in touch with reality because everything is so blurry and messed up all the time.. My whole family thinks I’m the slow one among my older sister and younger brother. I’ve gotten into trouble here and there but everyone just looks at me and treats me like I’m a little kid… GOd what is wrong with me… Am I mentally retarded?? I’ve gone to see a psychologist and suggested I went on anti depressants but i refused… AM I RETARDED????
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